“Ten signs that you’re not as clever as you think”
I found this great list over at bedang. By J. Vogt.
Are there more overly opinionated dumb-dumbs out there than ever? Some say yes, others say that saying “some say” means “I think”, which is correct in this case. And while I am bothered by the stupid posing as smarty pants, I have no problem with simple people in general. In fact, because I may be one, I’ll say that I often find them original and endearing. So don’t get all uppity about it, stupid.
- You bemoan the obsession with celebrity culture, yet have opinions on a celebrity.
If you need to express that celebrity X or Y is a a piece of trash/whore/moron then you’ve already bought into the media construct. The media you rant about wants you to have an opinion. It doesn’t matter if it’s good or bad, as long as it isn’t apathy. Why are “we” so obsessed with celebrity? Because people like you think having opinions about the lives of strangers is normal. Turn away and see the light.
- You use the word/s Nazi, Fascist or Commie to describe what you don’t like.
Hyperbole is the way that mental defectives try to get their points across. Unless you’re referring to actual adherents of National Socialism, Corporatism or Marxism, you should never use these words—including derivatives such as Feminazi. If you do, people think of you like a yappy little dog, without the cute factor and probably more smelly.
- You’ve ever said “you have no right to judge”.
With that phrase, you’re actually inventing a right then taking it away. You have no right to take away my imaginary judging rights, fascist.
- You moralise about the environment and eat farmed meat.
The real inconveniant truth is that eating farmed animals is the biggest way individuals contribute to heating the globe. So if you claim to be green, go veg or switch to cannibalism. Otherwise, enjoy the burgers and stop the pretence, fatty. Accept that your maladapted existence is a burden on the planet. If it keeps you up at night, reassure yourself that a meat induced heart attack may level things out anyway.
- You’ve called a country “a nation of immigrants”.
Redundant. It either applies to all nations or none. Why? Because humans don’t grow out of the ground. Wherever they exist, either they or their ancestors moved there. Calling a nation one of immigrants does not differentiate it at all from any other nation. Unless you’re comparing it to that nation of potatoes.
- You say something oh-so-clever, then ruin it all by suggesting it “begs the question”.
Which actually means that you just did yourself for a logical fallacy. You meant to say that it poses or raises the question. At some point in time, some hack journalist wrongly applied “begging the question” and it snowballed. Now the hordes of b-grade intelligentsia posing as clever people use the same phrase.
- You keep reminding us that you don’t want to go back to the “dark ages”.
The “dark ages” were named as such by propagandists from following periods, usually keen to discredit any people that weren’t up for Roman world domination. Almost every stereotype that popular culture indulges in, including that people from that age believed the earth was flat, is untrue. Anyone who gets their history from books rather than Monty Python flicks knows this. By even referring to the early Middle Ages as something bad, you’re showing how well you would have fitted in there—had they been as bad, stupid and regressive as you make out.
- You cite movies as proof of anything.
Movies are the opinions of their creators. A sure sign that you’re in the presence of a cleverist(sp) is that they will cite a movie, compare it to reality and think they’re onto something. Drama has become a point of reference for the inexperienced and easily led. Plato declared it the enemy of truth. This was back when it was staged and easily distinguishable from reality. If only he could see the plebs and their blurred worldview now, infected with the neuroses of movie creators and feeling smarter for it.
- You describe yourself as a “creative person”.
In lieu of other people applying it to them, this is the label that non-creative people apply to themselves.
- You say *anything, ever* with a mix of sarcasm and forced laughter.
You know what I’m talking about. That lethal combo of obvious discomfort posing as superiority. A puff of faux laughter out the nose, furrow of the brow, fake smile, shake of the head and a “yeah right”. If you haven’t done that once over the course of this list, then this list quite possibly isn’t directed at you.
10 Aug 2007, 11:31 #
